Granddaddy's Eulogy

John William Moorer, Sr. – Granddaddy

April 27, 1929 - May 19, 2014

Friday, May 23, 2014; White Chapel, Montgomery, Alabama

I never expected to give my Granddaddy’s eulogy. My Grandmama asked me this week to do it, and Granddaddy taught me early in life that when Grandmama asks you to do something, it is usually best to say “yes ma’am.”

I am truly honored to be standing here on behalf of my Granddaddy.

The book of Proverbs says this:

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man.

Granddaddy was a man of love and faithfulness to his core, and he carried a good name throughout his life.

His life started with humble beginnings on April 27, 1929 in the small town of Forest Home, Alabama. As the second born of eight boys, he had a hard childhood working the family fields. As young kids, he and his brothers would get wagons for Christmas in order to haul water from a well two miles away. When the boys were older, they would get bicycles to carry fertilizer for the fields. Granddaddy spoke often of Old Blue, their family’s mule. They had many struggles persuading Old Blue to do his job. When they were not working, he told me they had fun playing at Phelpes Swimming Hole.

Granddaddy, his parents, and 6 of his brothers back at the house in Forest Home in 1967

Even as life began to draw him away from Forest Home, he never forgot where he came from. One of my favorite things to do with Granddaddy was to take a ride with him through the country, back to Forest Home. It was so evident that a part of him was always there.

When Granddaddy served in the United States Air Force from 1946-1949 in Japan, he always sent every penny of his pay over $25 back home to his family. He told me that he started following the Alabama Crimson Tide during that time. I believe it was another way for him to stay connected with home. And he never stopped enjoying Alabama football.

 

In the summer of 1949, Granddaddy walked into VJ Elmore’s Five & Dime in Greenville, Alabama, and asked a young female employee about a particular record on display. Her name was Helen Skipper. Helen’s cousin also worked at the store and said to Helen, “He’s mine.” But when Granddaddy returned to the store a second time, he wanted Helen to assist him again with that same record. As it turned out, Granddaddy did not own a record player. He was interested in the girl not the record. And they were together ever since. Grandmama says that when she looked up and saw that handsome fellow in uniform standing in the door of the store, she knew he had to be hers. Granddaddy went home and told his father that he met the girl he was going to marry.

Granddaddy carried this photo of Helen Skipper in his wallet for the rest of his life

Hand in hand, they went on dates to the Ritz Theater in Greenville to catch a picture. They went on walks together in the park in front of the Methodist church in Greenville while they courted. 

And three months later on October 8, 1949, they married. When they arrived to the courthouse for their marriage license, Grandmama was surprised to see Granddaddy’s mother with him to sign for him. They had not discussed their ages, and she thought to herself “how old is he?” Granddaddy was twenty, and Grandmama was twenty-three. She says he was mature beyond his years.

It was said that their marriage would not last six months. They laughed about that for 64 years.

Their first home together was in Greenville. Grandmama’s parents lived with them. Granddaddy got along with his mother-in-law, and spent time with his father-in-law, frequently taking him on rides to Montgomery.

About five years later, after Grandmama’s father died, they moved to Montgomery. Grandmama’s mother moved with them. She would live with them under their care for thirteen years.

My grandparents moved one last time to their forever home on Avondale Road in Montgomery in the early 1950s.

Granddaddy could do most jobs, and did. He did plumbing, sold life insurance, worked at A&P, worked for a fencing company, worked as a security guard at Jackson Hospital for seventeen years, and served as a deputy sheriff for Montgomery County for twenty-seven years, retiring in 1991. He enjoyed wood carving, built most of his house, and could fix things.

Like everything else he did, he worked in order to provide for his family. He worked multiple jobs for most of his career. On weekends, he would go to his mother’s house in Forest Home to see about her and to work the fields.

Granddaddy loved his family. Two of the best days of his life were January 17, 1957 when his daughter was born, and April 20, 1961 when his son was born. He was a father to Marcia and John, and he loved them unconditionally.

He was a grandfather to John Bradford, myself, and Mark Tyler. He spoiled us with love! We could not wait to get out of school for the summer, for Thanksgiving, or for Christmas and go visit Granddaddy. And he could not wait for us to come. We went to the zoo, ate Grandmama’s good cooking, grilled out steaks, went on rides in the country, played in the park, watched Braves baseball, cheered for Alabama football, and sat on the swing on the screened in porch…and we did it all together. We talked life together, and we lived life together. He was the only grandfather we knew, and we loved him dearly. We will miss him dearly.

Granddaddy said that Grandmama could be as stubborn as Old Blue was in his childhood. My parents and brothers never miss an opportunity to tell me that I inherited my Grandmama’s strong will. When I was young and felt the need to exert that strong will, I would “threaten” to run away to Granddaddy’s house. My parents would then offer to help pack my bags. Granddaddy’s house was always a refuge for me. A place to sort out life with Granddaddy.

Granddaddy was a great-grandfather to Caton, Luca, Gideon, Kat, and Evie. He loved to spend time with them. They have been shaped early in life by a great man. Our whole family has.

Because of the hard life and upbringing he had, and because of a long career in law enforcement, Granddaddy should have been distrustful of people. But he wasn’t. If he could help you, he would. He would give up his seat for you. He was grounded. He was generous and kind. He made sure that his children and grandchildren all received educations. They all graduated from college, something my grandparents never had the opportunity to do. Granddaddy was consistent and steady. He loved people with no motives. He had integrity. He let insults roll off of him. He knew how to be content no matter the circumstances. He knew what was important in life. My brother Mark says he was unassumingly extraordinary.

He was a faithful husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and friend.

Granddaddy truly enjoyed his time as a Shriner. He found many friendships during those many years. He always enjoyed talking with people. And he loved being able to help so many children through the work of the Shriners. The only thing he asked to be buried with was his Masonic pins.

Granddaddy always put others before himself. His parents, brothers, his wife, his wife’s family, his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, his friends, neighbors, even strangers.

He did not have a lot of physical strength in his final days. But as I sat by his hospital bed, he somehow found the strength to take my hand in his, and tenderly kiss my hand. Because he knew I could take that memory with me.

Granddaddy was surrounded by his beloved family and friends until the end. I had the privilege to be beside him when he took his last breath. It is one of the most important things I will ever do.

Granddaddy, we will miss you and think of you always. We will try to love others as you did. And we will rejoice when we are with you again in heaven one day.

Thank you everyone for coming today to honor my Granddaddy. You are welcome to accompany our family to Forest Home for the graveside service and burial at 2:30 this afternoon.

May God’s blessings be with you all.

Ode to Friendship

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)

Okay, I do not have the gift for writing poetry, so this post is not truly an ode. But it is a post about something that I consider truly amazing and praiseworthy: friendship.

What does friendship look like? I mean the true kind. It is beautiful, priceless, and rare. Often, there exists no blood or legal ties between friends, but rather another kind of deep bond that is difficult to explain and wonderful to experience.  

Friends may share interests, passions, or experiences in common. On the other hand, you may find no rhyme or reason why two people share a friendship. Perhaps they view life or the world in similar ways. No matter the origin, the friendship shown to me has been full of love, selflessness, and sacrifice. 

I think of friends who spend the night in the ICU waiting room with you because your dad may not survive. Or friends who wait with you for long hours at the hospital during emergency surgeries. Friends who work hard side by side with you to make it possible for your dad to come home, and in a wheelchair. Friends who feed you, give you a bed, and provide for your immediate need, with little notice. 

I think of friends who send an encouraging word. And a plethora of encouraging words! Friends who pray for you, again and again. Friends who pray with you. Friends who listen patiently to you talk when you're searching for words, thoughts, and feelings. 

Friends who drive a long way just to meet you at Cracker Barrel to talk for three hours. Friends who give you a hug. Friends who cry with you and rejoice with you. 

Friends who walk through suffering with you.

Friends who walk with you as you find your way. Friends who see you at your lowest and love you even more.

God uses such friendship to restore us with joy. This friendship is much more valuable than gold or riches. A person is fortunate to have one such friend in life, and God has blessed me with many! You can never deserve this kind of friendship. 

I am truly rich. May I be rich towards God, and rich towards others!

~ LJH