Grandmama's Eulogy

Helen Skipper Moorer – Grandmama

January 21, 1926 - July 6, 2014

Friday, July 11, 2014; White Chapel, Montgomery, Alabama

A few years ago, my Grandmama asked me to give her eulogy. This was almost an impossible request for me to fulfill. On the one hand, she knew that I would do anything in this world for her. On the other hand, she must have known that I would one day stand here heartbroken. Where there is great love, there will be great heartbreak. I am going to try for her.

I am truly honored to speak on behalf of my Grandmama.

The book of Proverbs says this:

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done…

Grandmama was a woman of noble character, and we honor her today.

Her life started with humble beginnings on January 21, 1926, in Butler County, Alabama. As the second youngest of seven children, Grandmama had a hard childhood working in the family field and managing the family home. During the week, she helped pick cotton, corn, and peanuts. On Saturday, they would go fishing and play ball. And on Sunday, the family went to church, rain or shine. She often said of those days that we would not believe the stories because times had changed so much.

Grandmama loved to tell stories. A favorite story of hers was about one of her first jobs working at VJ Elmore’s Five & Dime in Greenville, Alabama. In the summer of 1949, a young man walked into the store and asked Grandmama about a particular record on display. His name was John Moorer. Grandmama’s cousin also worked at the store and said to Grandmama, “He’s mine!” But when he returned to the store a second time, he wanted Grandmama to assist him again with that same record. At this point in the story, she usually laughed when she explained that he did not own a record player. He was interested in the girl not the record. And they were together ever since. She said that when she looked up and saw that handsome fellow in uniform for the first time, she knew he had to be hers. Grandmama always said it was love at first sight.

Hand in hand, they went on dates to the Ritz Theater in Greenville to catch a picture. They went on walks together in the park in front of the Methodist church in Greenville while they courted. And three months later on October 8, 1949, they married. When they arrived to the courthouse for their marriage license, Grandmama was surprised to see Granddaddy’s mother with him to sign for him. They had not discussed their ages, and she thought to herself “how old is he?” Granddaddy was twenty, and Grandmama was twenty-three.

It was said that their marriage would not last six months. Not only were they married for 64 years, but they were happy together for 64 years. When I became engaged to my husband, Jay, Grandmama encouraged us to enjoy each other every day of our lives regardless of the circumstances. Her wisdom was always profoundly simple.

Their first home together was in Greenville. Grandmama’s parents lived with them. Her father died about five years later, and they moved to Montgomery. Grandmama’s mother moved with them. She would live with them under their care for thirteen years.

My grandparents moved one last time to their forever home on Avondale Road in Montgomery in the early 1950s. For sixty something years, Grandmama managed that house almost flawlessly. She was an immaculate housekeeper. She worked hard to take care of her house and her household.

Grandmama was devoted to her family. She dedicated her life to her husband and children. She became a mother in her thirties. At every opportunity, she would tell you that two of the best days of her life were January 17, 1957 when her daughter was born, and April 20, 1961 when her son was born. She was a mother to Marcia and John, and she loved them unconditionally. She worked hard to raise them. She was proud of them.

Grandmama said to me, “I was so blessed to have been given a daughter and son, your mother and Johnny. And I never forgot to thank God for giving me two of the best children that could be had.”

She was a grandmother to John Bradford, myself, and Mark Tyler. She spoiled us with love! We could not wait to get out of school for the summer, for Thanksgiving, or for Christmas and go visit Grandmama. And she could not wait for us to come. She would always have the house decorated for the holiday or season of year. She would cook our favorite meals during every visit. We will always remember waking up to the smell of bacon, sausage, biscuits, and eggs every morning. I really mean every morning! We loved sitting with her on the porch swing and listening to her stories. She would ask you to tell her everything you knew. If you knew Grandmama, then you knew that she was proud of her grandchildren. She always said that we took being smart after our grandmother.

She told me, “It is a great gift to have a grandchild. Just give your love and enjoy every minute you can. They grow up and they never forget how much they were loved. Being a grandparent means never being too busy that you can’t enjoy every minute that you spend with them. Now that I’m older, I think back when you, Brad, and Mark came and visited. It means so much to think back and remember those days.”

She was right. We will never forget how much we were loved. We visited her as often as possible for as long as we were on this earth together, no matter how old we got. We loved Grandmama dearly. We will miss her dearly.

Grandmama was a great-grandmother to Caton, Luca, Gideon, Kat, and Evie. She loved to spend time with them. She loved to receive pictures of them. They have been shaped early in life by a great woman. Our whole family has.

She never missed an opportunity to tell her family how much she loved us. When we would all gather for holidays or celebrations, she would often give a speech of gratitude about her family. She could talk for a while, and eventually Granddaddy would let her know that it was time to eat. She was always so appreciative of her family and of all the blessings God gave to her.

Grandmama was big on education. She made sure that her children and grandchildren all received educations. They all graduated from college, something my grandparents never had the opportunity to do. My grandparents attended each one of our high school, college, and graduate school graduations.

Not long after I became an attorney, I stopped by my grandparents’ house for lunch one afternoon after I had traveled to Butler County for court. As we sat at the table that day, Grandmama said to me, “Where I came from, no one would have believed that one day I would have a granddaughter who would return to my hometown and stand in a court of law to represent people. I’m just so proud.” Grandmama and Granddaddy made it possible for their children and grandchildren to pursue opportunities that they themselves could only dream about.

After her children grew up, Grandmama truly enjoyed her time in the Eastern Star. She found many friendships during those many years. In a lot of ways, she found her voice as she discovered so many of her gifts and talents. She was not only a wife, and not only a mom. She was also Helen.

Grandmama was a strong woman. She was a fighter. She survived severe childhood sicknesses and lived to be 88 years old. She had a high threshold for pain, and often continued about her work even when injured or sick. It took more than a broken foot or pelvis to slow her down. Up until last year, she still cut her own lawn with a push lawn mower. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Grandmama had one speed, which was full speed ahead. She could be stubborn, which Granddaddy did not mind pointing out on occasion. She was always a determined woman, not unlike a freight train.

Grandmama was kind. She was always looking out for everyone else. She did not hesitate to cook for others when they were sick. She was smart, and she was fun. She had a sharp mind all of her life.

She loved her flowers and her yard. Yard work was a kind of therapy for her.

She was a devoted wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend.

Grandmama lost her husband, best friend, and my Granddaddy on May 19, 2014. She reunited with him on July 6th. I wish I could have seen that reunion.

Grandmama was surrounded by her beloved family and friends until the end. The book of Psalms says this: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” I had the privilege to be with her when she took her last breath. Truly, it is one of the most important things I will ever do.

Grandmama, you were one of the strongest, most beautiful, and most loving women I have ever known. I will miss our talks and making plans together. And I will miss just being with you. We will all miss you and think of you always. We will try to love others as you did. And we will rejoice when we are with you and Granddaddy again in heaven one day.

Thank you everyone for coming today to honor my Grandmama. If she were here today, she would say “thank you, for everything.” You are welcome to accompany our family to Forest Home for the graveside service and burial at 2:30 this afternoon.

May God’s blessings be with you all.