In this week following Easter, I continue to reflect on three short verses from the Biblical account of Jesus' death that have a new meaning for me now.
"[B]ut standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Woman, behold, your son!' Then he said to the disciple, 'Behold, your mother!' And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home." ~ John 19:25-27 (ESV)
Jesus' closest family and friends were "standing by the cross." They were not running from the cross, or hiding away from the cross. They stood there. They watched Jesus, an innocent man, be mocked and punished. They heard His cries. They saw His blood. They watched their beloved son and friend experience the most agonizing suffering that this world will ever know.
Do you think it was hard for them to stand there? How did they express their grief?
It must have been the most difficult moments of their lives. The deepest love, friendship, and joy that they had ever known, along with all of their hopes and dreams for a new world, all dying before their eyes with each painful breath that Jesus took.
When my father spent weeks in the ICU last year fighting for survival, I experienced a part of what it's like to watch a loved one die. He had emergency surgery on a Saturday, and our family waited to see if he would survive the night. That was a long, hard night for us all. Then when Sunday came, we waited to see if his leg, which had been deprived of circulation for hours in prior days, could be salvaged. We watched that day as his leg showed signs of dying. As his leg continued to die, it was poisoning the rest of his body as well. Early that next morning, I happened to be the person present when the doctors determined that Dad's leg had to be amputated for him to survive. One doctor came to tell me the news and ask for permission to amputate.
In moments like that, you want to run away from the suffering. You don't want to consent to a surgery that will change the life of your dad in one of two ways: either he will not survive the surgery, or he will lose a leg. You don't want to watch your beloved father suffer any longer.
Two months later, after caring for my precious grandfather as he slowly died from esophageal cancer, my family sat around his hospital bed as he lived his last hours. The doctors had told us on a Saturday that there was nothing more they could do. We all sat by his side through Sunday. We watched as the blood circulation decreased to his extremities and his body systems gradually shut down. It was as if we were watching a beautiful flame slowly extinguish. Early the next morning, I sat by his side as he breathed his last breath, and he was gone. As we promised my Granddaddy, we took care of my Grandmama for the next 6 weeks until she died.
In moments like these, you simply want to crawl into a hole a million miles away and never come back out.
But Jesus' family and friends show us a better way. They faced the agonizing suffering, even though it would change them forever. They walked through the suffering and unbearable heartbreak.
My sweet dad survived the amputation and the difficult recovery. His life will never be the same, but I do believe that he is stronger because of the suffering. The accomplishments that he has made in a year are astounding, including his ability to walk once again. He is ever my hero :-)
I know that I am stronger because of the suffering. You can read more about my dad's story and my thoughts about walking through suffering here:
When you experience suffering in any form, you are changed forever. It is impossible to live on this earth and not undergo suffering. Should we run away? Should we insulate ourselves from grief and suffering?
I must admit that the culture within which I live answers in the affirmative to both of these questions and does a fairly lousy job of dealing with grief and suffering.
In the face of suffering, I believe the answer available for us all is to stand (or collapse) by the cross of Jesus Christ. With the help of Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, we walk through the suffering. "Grief... it's a passage, not a place to stay." The journey looks different for each of us. In the moments when we need to cry, we cry. When we need to scream, we scream. When we need to be still, we rest. And we press on in the journey.
Grief and suffering were not the end of the story for Jesus' loved ones. Christ fulfilled all of their hopes and dreams in ways they could never have imagined.
Suffering is not the end of our stories either.
I like to drive out to the countryside of Forest Home, Alabama, where my grandparents are buried. It is peaceful, and many of my roots are in that ground. When I am there, I think about how we will be reunited one day because of our trust in Jesus. The end of our story will be a joyful beginning into eternity. The greatest suffering on earth will be but a faint memory one day.
Friend, Jesus has risen indeed. He defeated death. That is good news to carry us on our journey!
